Friday, January 22, 2016

Leftovers Should Be Left Alone, Right??!?!!?

There are things out there that are extremely polarizing - you love it or hate it.  I feel one of these topics is leftovers.  I have never met a person that was just 'so so' or wobbly on their feelings about leftovers.  You can take my Dad as a perfect example.  The man is a machine and could eat 8,000 calories per meal.  This did not include pre-meal snacks, post-meal snacks, or desserts.  I am in no way exaggerating - not only does he eat ALL day, but the man would eat anything.  My Mom was a phenomenal cook - outstanding...  But, like all Moms, she had her busy days and would throw out some quick meals.  I detested these meals.  These meals formed my opinion on leftovers.  The only person that ate them was my Dad.  I am fairly certain that if she had served him warmed-up dog shit with gravy poured over it, he would have consumed it with a smile and his usual cheery compliment about this blessed meal in front of him...  These quick meals included heated up fish sticks and canned mixed vegetables.  I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.  Who the hell thought that throwing every nasty vegetable out there into one can was a suitable idea!?!??!  And, why do they still sell it?!?!?!?  My Mom would put out Ketchup, BBQ sauce, mustard, tartar sauce - anything to get us to consume these things.  My Dad did not need condiments to eat these 'quick meals'.  Sick-o.  My brother and I would drown our plates in sauces and desperately try to gag down these wretched morsel-beasts leering at us.  Fortunately, we had dogs and were always served milk with our meals.  You cannot distinctly see morsel-beasts floating in milk.  AND, I did the dishes every night - score.  My brother and I were Mensa-level geniuses when it came to disposing of these nasty meals.   The story would not end there though...  My Mother would carefully pack up all of the leftovers after EVERY. MEAL. into a few of her 458-piece set of 1978 olive green Tupperware.    And, there they sat in the back of the fridge unless we were low on snacks for my Dad.  I never understood how such a bright woman could not grasp the concept that this notion was a moot point.  If they were not TOUCHED by anyone other than my Dad - who is a subhuman food puppet and did not count - then, why in the hell would anyone eat them after they were stuffed back into the fridge!?!?!?!?!!?  As I grew older, I started to understand her need to do this goofy regimen every day.  My Mom was a hoarder.  Yup.  Hoarder Holly.  Miser Mindy.  Saver Sara.  Collector Colleen.  I can remember opening closets and wondering why she kept some of the items she stashed away...  She had drawers and drawers of make-up.  DRAWERS.  Dude, come on...  Then, I realized one day that I am just like her - the joke was on me.  Awesome.  I find myself squirreling away RIDICULOUS things.  I just cannot find myself able to part with some of the dumbest items.  And, I am here to say - neither should you!  I have decorations that are literally 20 years old or older.  They might be out of style, but I have found use for them; they might be trinkets or tokens or even some type of craft that my girls made, but I lovingly put them out!



I have kept all of the heart chocolate boxes that I have been given over the years for Valentine's Day from friends or Chris.  I know that sounds corny, but they are fun memories for me to remember when I pull them out!  This year, I put some of them in a vintage white cage and on my kitchen island for display.  In the past, I have even put them out on my mantle!








Over the years, I have acquired multiple heart banners and picks - instead of parting with them, I put them out in my china cabinets and curios!


I have several pieces that my Mom bought me when I was in college to decorate my apartment or house.  They are dated, but I refuse to part with them - I have them arranged this year in a cake stand!


This is one of my most treasured pieces.  I inherited the crystal gravy boat from my Mom.  She loved dishes, crystal, and fancy silverware.  She was also a remarkable baker.  I have displayed these heart cookie cutters that she used to bake with for me and my brother in the gravy boat that she used for special occasion meals!




I know that your kids bring home tons and tons of items and crafts from school and play dates.  I challenge you to save as many of them as you can.  As the years go by, I promise that you will smile and enjoy placing them out with your other festive decor.  I always store their specified holiday items with the rest of the decor for that holiday for convenience purposes.  AND...  Since we have been chatting about leftovers, let's learn how to make Trash Can Punch!


Ahhhh - Trash Can Punch.  A delightful and utterly low-class inebriant made famous by college fraternities everywhere trying to get the most bang for their weekend buck.  It gets it's name from the classy vessel that it is routinely stored in and served out of for parties - the trash can.  If you have never had the high distinction of sampling this delightful cocktail, then you have two options: either hit a college campus this weekend OR make this charming beverage yourself!  The above picture is clearly from a party of nobel quality since they chose to serve it out of a plastic cooler.

Ingredients:
1 bottle of Vodka
1 bottle of Tequila
1 bottle of Everclear
1 bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey
Fruit (3 oranges chopped up and a bundle of grapes)
2 cans of pineapple juice
2 cans of frozen Minute Maid fruit punch
1 frozen can of apple juice
1 frozen can of orange juice
1 large bag of ice

Pour all of the above ingredients together in the most vulgar and seedy receptacle that you can find and enjoy with lots and lots of your friends that won't judge you the next day!  Eat the fruit last!  Cheers!









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