Valiantine's Decor

Let's have a moment of silence for my husband this afternoon.  The poor guy has to turn in his man card every year for four months.  In fact, any time you hear Taps playing, please put your hand over your heart and fondly think in remembrance of his manhood.  Starting in January, our house is smothered with hearts.  Starting in March, you can not enter a single room in our home without a bunny or chick eyeballing you...  In fact, I can hear him in my head right now - "That bunny is CREEPY.  Look at the way it is just staring me down..."  And, let's be honest, 90% of Valentine's Day decor is, in fact, what I like to refer to as cheesy chic.  I feel like Valentine's decor is stuck in the '80s like my taste in music.  It is shiny, sateen hearts with big, loopy eyelet lace that reminds me of my canopy bed as a child.  My house looks like it has been hosed down with huge glitter hearts. They remind me of my grade school hair and jewelry choices because I pined to be Madonna.  The fake red roses perched in a vase floating in those heinous heart-shaped rocks remind me of the 1980's drug stores trying to help men out with that perfect last-minute Valentine's Day gift.  I get it, Walgreens.  You were just trying to be a wingman to your fellow clueless man.  But, let's be honest, those fake roses probably instigated more arguments than their intended V-Day jubilation!  That same man most likely did not get to use the box of Trojans or Astroglide that he purchased WITH those fake roses.  Public Service Announcement - Rite Aid, please stick to pimping what you know best - prescription meds; not poon tang props.  I truly feel like Valentine's decor has not really evolved out of that cheesy chic genre.  Because of that, most men are really not keen on their house being draped with V-Day decor.  IF your husband is not willing to turn in his man card so that you can decorate your home for Valentine's Day, that's why I'm here!  1)  I am guessing that you have been together for 5 years or less...  Be patient.  He will eventually relent and give you that man card; they always do...  Neutering a husband can be tricky, but they always end up giving you their balls to carry in your purse in the end.  2)  I have created V-Day decor that can be a great compromise.  It is called Valiantine decor.  What IS that you might ask!?!?!?  The very definition of valiant is 'manly'.  Valiantine decor is essentially Valentine decor with a macho spin!  Genius, right!?!?!?!?  Here are some ideas to get your home V-Day ready without hearing a peep from your man!

This chippy red metal basket has been accented with gold antlers and a gold arrow.  It is a crisp touch to any fireplace mantle - all items were purchased at Hobby Lobby!  Arrows - like antlers - are IN!  There are a multitude of choices out there right now!

The above heart is accented with studs - the metal detailing truly helps to give a very effeminate symbol like a heart a nice masculine touch.  Additionally, I have put my conversation heart candles on antler candle holders this year.  The mix of a dainty candle on a robust holder looks amazing!  The stud heart pallet is from Hobby Lobby and the antler candlestick is from Kroger of all places ;)

I have taken a chippy tool box and accented it with hearts of varying sizes and colors - the unconventional mix looks really sharp together!

I have an antler vase with a conversation heart pick in it on my kitchen island...  The stark contrast really works here!  The antler vase and convo heart pick are both from Hobby Lobby.  * side bar on Hobby Lobby - everything I purchase there is for 50% off or more.  I look at the weekly coupon ad every week to know what items are half off.  If an item is not half off when you are there, it will likely be half off the following week.  If I find an item that is in a questionable category,  I ALWAYS ask a manager about it.  Truthfully, they give me the 50% discount most of the time; don't be afraid to ask!! *

I love this piece!!!  It is distressed, whitewashed architectural trim pieces on a pallet!  I mean - does it get any manlier than wood on wood!??!?!  I got this awesome piece at Kroger for $7.99!  Run - don't walk - and pick this up!  SO cute!

I love this picture that I found at Hobby Lobby last week!  It has Valiantine written ALL over it...  Even though it is your traditional heart artwork, it is NOT pink or red!  The gold foil and black really stand out, and it is femme without being nauseating...  I accented it with a gold XOXO piece that is also from Hobby Lobby.  Plus, I added a large antler that I got at an antique flea market in DT McKinney!  Now that we have decked our houses with semi-girly decor, let's have a drinky drink!  In honor of my sweet husband that has permanently left his balls in my purse, let's learn how to make a Suffering Bastard cocktail!

Ingredients:

2 ounces of light rum

2 ounces of gin

2 ounces of Ginger Ale

1 ounce lime juice

2 dashes of bitters

Fill a chilled highball glass with ice cubes ** note to self - I feel that it is super important to specifically use a highball glass here to praise ourselves for taking the high road on our politically correct decorating decisions today; we are SO respectful to our husband's feelings ** Add all of the above ingredients to your glass and enjoy!  Cheers!