Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Elementary Easy Easter Edibles

Easter will be here in days - mere days!  I always love perusing for new recipes.  If I find one that suits my fancy, BUT has more than like 6 steps, it's just not going to happen!  Ever.  I'm BUSY.   I always investigate past the pretty finished baked product - looks good, BUT how many steps are we talking here?!?!?!?  I will know within 20 seconds after I see the list of instructions.  If I have to scroll down even a smidgen, then that recipe is just not for moi.  PASS.  But - I have some truly AMAZING Easter goody recipes that are not only delectable, but are on an elementary baking level for all my busy Momma friends.  I relish easy recipes.  HOWEVER, I have a massive ego.  So said recipes need to be so exclusive that when I bring them to an event people think that I am Martha Stewart.  Like, I really want to be compared to her or Paula Deen.  You can pull me aside or say it in front of a group of gawkers - I am happy to hear it either way.  I want to revel in my simple recipe glory.  You will love the prestige, as well.  Ready to be a Super Cook this Sunday?!?!?!  Get your capes out, Mommasitas!

1)  Two Ingredient Ham:

Ingredients:
1 butt-portion ham (approximately 6-9 lbs); note - ask for the butt cut instead of the shank cut
3 cups of light brown sugar

Directions:
Remove ham from plastic wrap, also remove plastic circle that is covering the bone.
Cover the bottom of the crockpot with a good layer of brown sugar (I used 1 and 1/2 cups).
Place the ham face (flat side) down in the crockpot.
Cover the top of the ham with the remaining brown sugar.
Cover with lid (OR, tightly cover with foil if the lid doesn't fit).
Cook on low for 8-10 hours or on high for 6-8 hours.
Flip the ham in the last hour or two to ensure that the top of the ham is allowed time to also soak in the juices.
Remove the ham from the crockpot when ham easily falls apart.  It will be SO moist that it will literally FALL OFF the bone.  
Pull the ham apart (being extra careful not to burn your fingers) to separate the meat from the fat and bone.
  


2) Ritz Pineapple Casserole

Ingredients:
2 16 ounce cans of pineapple chunks, drained
6 Tablespoons of flour
1 cup sugar
2 cups of grated cheddar cheese
1 stick of butter, melted
1 pack of Ritz crackers (crushed) ** don't crush to uniform size bits; leave some larger than others **

Directions:
Pour drained pineapple into a 9x13 dish
Mix sugar and flour and evenly sprinkle it over the pineapple
Layer the grated cheese, then the crackers over the top
Pour melted butter over the dish
Bake 350 for 30 minutes
This dish is sweet and tangy and is meant to be served with ham - like, seriously - PURE HEAVEN



3)  Green Bean Bundles 

Ingredients:
4 15 ounce cans of of whole green beans -- not "cut" and not "french style"
Bacon strips cut in half (I use my kitchen scissors)
1 cup melted butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp soy sauce

Directions:
Gather 10 beans into a bundle.  Wrap bacon around the beans and secure with a toothpick.  Arrange in a 9x13 pan.
Combine melted butter, brown sugar, garlic salt, and soy sauce in a bowl.  Mix well.  Pour over the beans.
Chill overnight or for several hours.  Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes to an hour or until the bacon is thoroughly cooked.
** My family is all about meal traditions, so when my Mom made these one year for Christmas, there was almost a riot - picket signs and all.  BUT, they are AMAZING!  And, we begged her to make them for EVERY holiday meal going forward **



4)  Malted Milk Easter Dip

Ingredients:
1 8 ounce block of cream cheese, softened
1 cup of powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup malted milk powder
1/2 cup of crushed malted Easter eggs candy
1 cup of heavy whipping cream

Directions:
In a small bowl, beat the heavy whipping cream until soft peaks form.  Set aside.
Whip the cream cheese in a mixer until smooth. Continue mixing while slowly adding the powdered sugar.  
Also mix in the vanilla and the malted milk powder.
Then, fold the whipped heavy cream and the crushed malted eggs into the cream cheese mixture.
Cover and chill for an hour before serving.
Serve with honey graham sticks, Nilla wafers, or pretzels.



5)  White Chocolate Carrot Cake

Ingredients:
1 box of carrot cake mix (plus ingredients called for on back of box)
1 small box (3.4 ounce) of white chocolate pudding mix
1 can of sweetened condensed milk
1 3/4 cups of milk

Directions:
Preheat the oven per directions on the back of the cake mix box.
Prepare the cake mix as instructed on the box.  If you swap out the water called for on the box with milk instead and add an extra egg to the mixture, it tastes more homemade!  
Bake cake according to box directions.  
Remove cake and poke holes all over it with a wooden spoon handle
Which together the sweetened condensed milk with the 1 3/4 cups of milk; Mix in the white chocolate pudding mix.  
Let the mixture stand for 1 minute then pour the mixture over the hot cake.  Make sure to get the pudding mixture into all of the poked holes.
Let the cake cool completely, then frost with two cans of cream cheese frosting!



6)  Cadbury Egg Cake Bars

Ingredients:
1 stick of butter, softened
1 box of yellow cake mix
1 large egg
3 tablespoons of vegetable oil
1 cup of mini chocolate chips
5 Cadbury eggs, chopped

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350.
Line a 9x13 baking dish with foil and spray with cooking spray.
Place butter, cake mix, egg, oil, and chocolate chips into a large mixing bowl and stir until it creates a dough.
Gently stir in the chopped Cadbury eggs to combine.
Transfer the dough to the prepared baking dish and press evenly into pan.
Bake for 25-30 minutes until it is baked through.
Let cool for 30 minutes before you cut into squares and serve!



Now that we have marginally broken a sweat in the kitchen and made these simple and savory recipes, we deserve a drink!  Please note that if people brag on you and encourage you to write a cookbook after your Easter meal this year, don't say a peep!   




Peeps Marshmallow Martini

Ingredients:
1 1/2 ounces of fluffed marshmallow vodka
1/2 ounce of vanilla syrup
1 ounce of cream

Directions:
Pour the vodka, vanilla syrup, and cream into some type of receptacle with ice and shake or stir.
After mixture is properly blended, pour into a glass and enjoy!  Cheers!











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