"Girl, I love that dress - where did you get it?!??"
"This old thing??? Target. But, you know, a few years ago at Target. Not last Tuesday or anything -- not recent Target. God no. In fact, it could have even been the mall. Not really sure?!???? Target - ew."
The disdain is epic.
Let's be honest... Target has been a naughty monkey. Two Christmas seasons ago, there was the severe security breach. Countless people had their credit cards hacked and had fraudulent, crazy ass charges put on them. Most of which seemed to be porn-related things out of Europe?!?!?! I was not really surprised that credit card thieves also had an interest in purchasing a chimp that could operate a video camera along with their ass-less, fringed leather chaps. Can you imagine their interests list on social media?!?!? Hiking, swimming, pottery making, leather goods, fringed attire, crotchless panties, trained primates, AV equipment, hacking website pamphlets, Marilyn Manson, furry love cuffs, origami art, and sunsets.
It was all over the news for an eternity. In fact, quite a few of MY personal friends were even affected. It caused a serious system-wide meltdown rippling across banks, credit card companies, personal wallets, etc. I can remember friends saying that their credit cards were declined if they were traveling or the purchase was considered 'unusual activity'. At Christmas - people travel and buy atypical items every day. It was bargain shopping Russian roulette. Chaos. Anarchy. Bedlam. My favorite hobby was tarnished. My sanctuary had a blemish. Why couldn't it have been like Dick's Sporting Goods?!??!? I never go there. In fact, I can safely say that I have never bought a single item from there. Dick's would have been a far more convenient mark for a security heist. Why didn't these hackers consult me first?!!!?
More recently, Target made the proclamation about their new transgender bathroom policy. I distinctly remember exclaiming, "OH come ON, Target!" when I heard the story on the news for the first time. Not because I was bothered by their decision but because it was so soon after their last indiscretion. Could they not have waited a good 5 years before rocking the boat again?!?? Now my Facebook feed is filled with anti-Target posts and petitions. Even Pinterest has pins circulating with pictures of Target stores enveloped in flames burning to the ground with cheerful families roasting marshmallows over the blaze.
For me, I will never stop loving Target. They are that cute, fluffy puppy that just destroyed your shoe. You want to stay angry, but you just can't. The credit card issue was a pain in the ass, but they bent over backwards to entice shoppers to come back. They even profusely apologized - and, meant it. The bathroom policy is just a proactive measure of acceptance. The world is ever changing and everyone deserves the right to recognition. And, I want MY children to always respect others. I want to raise them with love in their heart - inclusive of love for a complete stranger.
I can remember the very first time that Ashlyn met a man dressed as a woman. It was her 4th Birthday party weekend, and we were picking up her Birthday balloons from the Party City off of 75 here in McKinney. The person blowing up our balloons was a man in full-blown makeup and sporting a pony tail. You could distinctly tell that it was a man. She knew that it was a man. She looked him square in the eye as he handed the balloons to her, and she said -- "You look beautiful. I love your lipstick." You could tell that it made his day. He profusely thanked her, and I concurred with my daughter. I was proud of her. I told her as much when we got into the car to head home. She had a lot of questions, but I simply told her that it is imperative to be kind no matter what - always be kind.
I watch my kids like a hawk. I tend to be a helicopter Mom in parking lots and bathrooms. I always go to the bathroom with them at a restaurant or in a store. I wait for the family bathroom to become available or I squeeze all of us into a stall together. I do not foresee this practice ending any time in the near future.
I also watch A LOT of Dateline episodes. The mental image that the public has of a 'pervert' does not exist. I even took a class on sexual deviants before I could volunteer at my kids' school functions. The people that are going to prey on your child look and behave completely normal. They are the people that you would never guess to be 'the bad guy'. In fact, this is completely intentional. This is how they remain under the radar and continue their path of destruction and abuse. The best way that you, as a parent, can combat this issue is through education. You need to talk to your kids about red flags and inappropriate behavior. And, I hate to tell you this, BUT… I can guarantee you that your kids are more at risk of facing an evil force at a park, a church, a school, or a even sleepover at a friend's house FAR before they would in a Target bathroom!
I am not trying to be political. Or, start another petition. Or, even be a pain in the ass. I am here to tell you that you would be forever sad if you were to miss out on Target's 4th of July goods. They literally hit it out of the park this year! Both their decor AND attire are not only affordable but ALSO to. die. for. adorable! Let's do this -- follow me to Target and be Independence Day-alicious this summer with us!!!!
1) If you love preppy... Target has these soft red, white, and blue billowy dresses with a fun madras flair!
2) If you prefer the trendy boho chic look... I matched these adorable patriotic crochet vests with some crisp white dresses with lace detailing!
3) If you are leaning towards the cute sundress look... The maxi dress on Ash is simple but precious with thin, bow adorned spaghetti straps on top. Scarlett's dress is a precious red, white, and blue floral print with a lace halter on the top and lace trim on the bottom!
4) If you are into some nontraditional fun... Scarlett's maxi dress is a darling red, white, and blue bandana print - LOVE!! It reminds me of the days when I used to wear Harold's wrap skirts in college! Ash is wearing a fun red floral print dress with a bomb pop vest!
5) The dress that Ash has on is a fun use of a tulle overlay. The top is blue with white stars and the bottom is solid red with a soft white overlay - even cuter in person! I matched Scarlett's bomb pop vest with a navy and white dress to show that it would look cute over a red dress, a blue dress, or even a white one!
6) For the loose bohemian maxi and lace combo -- go with these dresses! They can pass for both dressy and casual by simply changing out the shoes and hair!
6) For 150% casual, they have this precious top and shorts set AND this tank and skirt set!
If you have zero interest in the precious patriotic outfits this season, then you will undoubtedly want to check out Bullseye's Playground (the world renowned Target Dollar Spot). I cannot even describe to you the adrenaline rush that I experienced when I happened upon their 4th of July decor! One word -- orgasmic.
1) They have two large pallet selections. A large American flag pinned into a pallet OR a pallet shaped like our country with the words "Land That I Love" engraved in it.
2) They literally have linen banners galore. It really just depends on which one truly suits your taste.
3) They also have a cute wooden star banner. You can buy this and use it in a couple of ways. It looked great hanging on my mantle OR as a patriotic filler for my dough bowl on my entry hall table.
4) Last, but certainly not least, they have a few precious burlap pillow selections. Like a moron, I only bought one and now I am on the hunt to find the others that I foolishly deserted one day. If you see ANY of these pillows, buy them, DAMMIT, BUY. THEM.
What would the 4th of July be - or, the fate of my blog for that matter - if we were not star spangled hammered to honor those that proudly serve our country?!?!?! Here is a super fun spin on getting your drink on for the upcoming 4th of July holiday!
Buzzed Cherry Bombs
1) Soak Maraschino cherries in vanilla vodka overnight.
2) Gently pat dry.
3) Melt white chocolate chips (found on baker's aisle).
4) Buy blue sprinkles and pour into a bowl.
5) Dip the vodka soaked cherries into the melted white chocolate, then in the blue sprinkles.
6) Enjoy and CHEERS!!!
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