Here's the kicker - she had me IN college. At 19, she found out that she was pregnant with me. She was a junior in college at the time - her intelligence had afforded her the opportunity to skip a grade in elementary school. She literally did not skip a beat. She still graduated in 4 years - in fact, one semester she had to take 22 hours to graduate on time, and she STILL made the Dean's list.
I cannot remember a moment in my childhood that wasn't wondrous. She was my Girl Scout leader, involved in PTA, a room Mom, my brother's Den Leader, and we were always busy. She never missed a recital of mine. She never missed a baseball or football game that my brother played in.
I was raised to believe that every Birthday was a time of celebration. It was to be memorialized in an annual grandiose manner no matter what. You always got your favorite cake made from scratch along with a deluge of gifts. This tradition did not end when you left the nest. I can remember my Birthday falling on the last week of college every year, and she always greeted me with a cake when they came to move me out for the summer. As an adult, I still got a homemade cake mailed to me. She would write on the shipping box 'Please Shake The Contents Profusely' & this cake would arrive in shambles in the lidded cake pan. As always, plates, napkins, forks, and party hats were also included.
Holidays were also a big occasion in our house. I don't mean just the decorations. It was a full-on Tuffly brouhaha every. single. year. My Mom did nothing - not one thing - half ass in her life. At Halloween, she would dress up as a wicked witch and sit on the front porch swing. She was a spooky crocodile lying in wait for children to trick or treat at our house so that she could scare the crap out them. She would ALSO wear her roller skates to chase them down the sidewalk. She took improv to a whole new art form. At Christmas, she baked enough to feed a third world country. My brother and I always assisted her in the kitchen. She also made amazing homemade toffee that she would lovingly mail out to friends and family in Christmas tin containers. Her house had about 15 Christmas trees in assorted shapes and sizes throughout the many rooms. Every room also had a 'theme'. My bedroom was Angels, the formal dining room was deer, David's bedroom was Snowmen, the guest bedroom was bears... The bathrooms were not even given reprieve from the Christmas decadence. You get the gist. She also took the time to send out a Christmas letter in her cards every year. The kicker WAS that her letter talked about all of the drama that occurred in her world that year. She got great pleasure out of making fun of her husband and kids - some of it blown way out of proportion and some of it completely factual. The recipients never knew what was true and what was a bit dramatized for effect.
She had a gift with everything that she put her hands on. I can remember one year begging for a poodle skirt. I think that there had been some type of 50's theme function at school, and I became obsessed with that era. True to her nature, she went and bought the pattern to make me one. Voila - a grey poodle skirt with pink trim was made for my recreation. One year, I desperately wanted a ‘Christmas tree’ sweater. This was FAR before the advent of Eagles Eye Christmas sweaters that were all the rage in the ‘90s. My Mom bought me a sweater and painstakingly sewed on a tree bedazzled by hand and adorned it with ornaments and garland. It was gorgeous - truly stunning! I took French in high school. I am thrilled beyond measure to tell you that that was such a novel idea on my part. My French skills have come in SO handy living here in Texas. Yeah. I use it every day. I don’t think that I would have ever made it this far in life without this language skill. I digress, ahem... For French 3, I had to give a presentation and create a work of art to present with it. I chose to speak about the Arc De Triomphe. My Mom actually baked and designed a cake that was a duplicate of this structure. A mini scale model of this amazing monument in Paris. It was like I lived with Martha Stewart and MacGyver under one roof.
She was also a very active member in Midland society. She volunteered her time - countless hours to multiple charity efforts. She was both the President and the Treasurer of the Midland Chi Omega Alumnae Chapter over the years. She was completely ruthless on a tennis court - she played to WIN. She was also very heavily involved in the Methodist church that they attended. The couple’s Sunday School class my parents were in took turns bringing breakfast for the group every Sunday. Most couples would grab some donuts on the way there to serve. Not my Mom. Oh NO. She would arrive with a homemade build your own eggs benedict bar and chocolate dipped strawberries -- all from scratch.
The best adjective that you could have used to describe my Mom would have been fun - beyond fun in an unconventional way. On those days when parents were invited to join their kids for lunch in the school cafeteria, my Mom would arrive with Wendy's or even Pizza Hut. Every other parent there would grimace at their tray in front of them covered in lunch lady cuisine and wish that they had thought of the same plan. As our Girl Scout leader, she would allow us to have regular sleepovers at our house. For these party nights, she would go to Sam's and buy the bulk size of cheap toilet paper so that we could go wrap houses. She was that young, hip Mom that was always in the latest fashionable attire and would pull up to the school to pick us up blaring the Back To The Future soundtrack or the Phil Collins Sussudio tape from her station wagon. She was the Mom that would wear a matching sweatsuit to mine donned in puffy paint. She was the Mom that did a date night every month with me. We would always go to Shoguns, then a movie. She was the Mom that always took us to Water Wonderland in the summer. She was the Mom that came into Dallas for girls' weekends with my friends and I! One time, I picked her up at the airport & we headed straight to the Pappadeux's bar with my friend, Noelle. She was even the Mom that would rent a limo and stock it with booze when we were adults to go look at Christmas lights together as a family. Fun was her middle name.
When I was in high school, she made the decision to return to work. The majority of my family on both my maternal and paternal side are in the oil and gas industry. This is a very male dominant profession. She was ALSO on the computer and technical arm of this world. In that era, she was in the vast minority compared to men in this sector. It did not phase my Mom one bit. She rose to the top of the oil company that she worked for as the Director of Technical Services.
She was also a very active member in Midland society. She volunteered her time - countless hours to multiple charity efforts. She was both the President and the Treasurer of the Midland Chi Omega Alumnae Chapter over the years. She was completely ruthless on a tennis court - she played to WIN. She was also very heavily involved in the Methodist church that they attended. The couple’s Sunday School class my parents were in took turns bringing breakfast for the group every Sunday. Most couples would grab some donuts on the way there to serve. Not my Mom. Oh NO. She would arrive with a homemade build your own eggs benedict bar and chocolate dipped strawberries -- all from scratch.
The best adjective that you could have used to describe my Mom would have been fun - beyond fun in an unconventional way. On those days when parents were invited to join their kids for lunch in the school cafeteria, my Mom would arrive with Wendy's or even Pizza Hut. Every other parent there would grimace at their tray in front of them covered in lunch lady cuisine and wish that they had thought of the same plan. As our Girl Scout leader, she would allow us to have regular sleepovers at our house. For these party nights, she would go to Sam's and buy the bulk size of cheap toilet paper so that we could go wrap houses. She was that young, hip Mom that was always in the latest fashionable attire and would pull up to the school to pick us up blaring the Back To The Future soundtrack or the Phil Collins Sussudio tape from her station wagon. She was the Mom that would wear a matching sweatsuit to mine donned in puffy paint. She was the Mom that did a date night every month with me. We would always go to Shoguns, then a movie. She was the Mom that always took us to Water Wonderland in the summer. She was the Mom that came into Dallas for girls' weekends with my friends and I! One time, I picked her up at the airport & we headed straight to the Pappadeux's bar with my friend, Noelle. She was even the Mom that would rent a limo and stock it with booze when we were adults to go look at Christmas lights together as a family. Fun was her middle name.
When I was in high school, she made the decision to return to work. The majority of my family on both my maternal and paternal side are in the oil and gas industry. This is a very male dominant profession. She was ALSO on the computer and technical arm of this world. In that era, she was in the vast minority compared to men in this sector. It did not phase my Mom one bit. She rose to the top of the oil company that she worked for as the Director of Technical Services.
This amazing woman - Mother, wife, friend, volunteer, Christian, employee - was taken from us 11 years ago in a tragic car accident. I was harshly bitter about this for many, many years. None more so than when this time of year rolls around every year. You see, I was actually born ON Mother’s Day - my Birthday happened to fall on that Sunday making it even more special for her. Today - this day - was OURS. She celebrated me and I celebrated her. The anguish that I felt only intensified when I had children. Why can’t she be here with me? Why did she miss the opportunity to be a grandmother? Why can’t I share this joy with her? A couple of years ago, I caught myself retracing our traditions. Our annual bond. In that moment I got it. She IS here. She lives within me. She guides every step that I take as a Mom. I stopped grieving and started celebrating her. If you have lost your Mom, I beseech that you follow the same path. Instead of fighting your feelings, embrace them. These are moments that you will never get back with your children - make sure that your Mom is there holding your hand every step of the way. She’s there. I promise you, she IS there.
My very first Easter -- 1977
My very first Christmas -- 1976
My second Easter -- 1978
My very first Texas A&M football game -- 1980
Thanksgiving in Houston -- 1981
The annual Christmas Midland Chi O Alumnae Mother/Daughter Tea
Christmas in Midland -- 1983
(PS - I can't get over the resemblance between my little brother and Scarlett!!)
My Chi Omega initiation weekend into the Xi Kappa Chapter -- 1995
My Mom even came with HER two pledge sisters/best friends from college for my initiation - talk about one helluva PAR-TAY -- 1995
Easter Shenanigans -- 2003
Christmas in Lafayette, LA at Mimi and Pampa's house -- 2004
Her professional picture headshot for the company's website, etc. -- 2005
She always wanted to be called 'Gimmy' - we love you more than you know and think of you every day, Mom! I just know that you are the Social Director in Heaven!
To honor my Mom, let's learn how to make her very favorite adult beverage in the world - the infamous Brandy Alexander! ** She had such an affinity for this drink that she even named my first dog, a Cocker Spaniel, Brandy Alexander! **
Ingredients:
2 cups of vanilla ice cream
1 1/2 ounces (a shot) of Brandy
1 1/2 ounces (a shot) of Kahlua
Instructions:
Put all ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth! Cheers and Happy Mother's Day!
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